Written by Crazy_Desire
Before I get to my personal review of the largest Tesco in the united kingdom, let me first explain how it all started. How I magically ended up at the greatest location in the world.......
It all started on a faithful Saturday around 2 months ago, where I, mountain, and our other friend went to a lovely waterfall natural park located around 40 mins from where we live. This was our original plan, but destiny made us end up in a Tescos around 50 miles away on the same day without intention. We set off in the late morning, managing to make it I-town to visit the lovely park. As we parked in the car park, Mountain was alarmed by the lack of ethnic minorities in the area, only to be quickly dismissed by an Asian family parking on the opposite side of us. We laughed as we first went to the bathroom, so Mountain could relieve himself. I was enjoying my Ribena and hobnobs as we entered the park, and our friend very nicely paid for the entrance fee.
This waterfall park was a long path that would take 2-3 hours to complete. It was a defined path to go and see many waterfalls on these natural forest hills in the rural area. As we first entered the park, we spotted a tree fully nailed in coins, and it was called the money tree! I tried taking a 50p out so I could safely deposit it in my investing account where it would service a better and a higher purpose but these coins were hammered in, and they ain't coming out. Mountain managed to stick a 5p coin in the tree though! Our lazy and unfit friend struggled to climb up the hills, constantly complaining, but he had no choice, they was no turning back.
About 40 mins into the park, we encountered a wonderful, humungous waterfall! What a beauty! We sat and apperciated the view, but MOUNTAIN decided to do a YOLO and completely disappeared as me and our friend started to move on the next site. As we waited 5 mins for mountain to catch up, we grew concerned. I headed back down the path to find him, and MOUNTAIN was scaling towards the back on the waterfall, and this MF was taking selfies behind the waterfall. I ain't gonna lie, this kid has got balls. He could have easily slipped and fell down and severely injured himself but he did it for you lot. You gotta appreciate this man and his sacrifices. Look below for the picture of him scaling lol.
Anyways, after this 20-minute delay, we scaled the big hill and on the way, Mountain stepped on a bettle and squished it :( . Mountain was very upset, but luckily later down the line, he manages to save one. Another memorable moment was when I was being cheeky and I went up a ledge to see this building. As I went forward, the real path started to go down, leaving a massive height between me and the bois. I almost pussied out from jumping this 2-metre ledge to get back down to the ground, but after being called a chicken, I called my spirit hero Andrew Tate to give me strength as I successfully made the leap. Unfortunately, the bag I was carrying tore forcing me to carry it by hand. Mountain tried to climb up a cliff, but he used his common sense and decided to back out. Good choice ngl.
As we headed down, we found a natural running spring! Me and Mountain wanted to know how the water tastes so I spill our mate's fanta bottle and drank some delicious organic water! We tried forcing our friend to drink it, unsuccessfully of course, but it was funny as frick. We spent 2-3 hours in total in I-town and I throughly enjoyed it, 10/10 would recommend.
Now you are probably screaming at the screen, "BRO, I'VE JUST READ 5 PARAGRAPHS AND NONE OF IT WAS ABOUT TESCOS!". Listen here skunkiest, have some patience, I'm getting on to that. Now, as we reached the car, and made a small detour trying to find Mountain's ex in a pub, our friend jokingly said "let's go m-city". Me, a person who doesn't understand what a joke is, said "kk". After some ho's and ha's, we eventually decided and said "frick it", and started to drive towards m-city to get a good munch. So I drove literally 90 mins to 2 hours and we eventually arrived in m-city city centre. We parked up and headed towards a food place that our friend recommended that was CLOSED. Honestly, so fricking bad our friend is. After wasting 30 mins deciding where to go, we eventually ended up in a food place, having slightly above average food. Our friend let us down ngl. At this point, its dark and like 9pm ish time. We should be going home now. But I don't know what "going home" means.
When we got to m-city, I really wanted to go visit a random tescos but was denied. As we finished our meals, I was informed that the worlds biggest Tesco was near us. "World's biggest you say?" I said with a curious accent. You KNOW I definitely going, regardless of what the homies say. The homies reluctantly agreed as we headed towards the biggest Tescos in the UK. It took us a solid 30 mins to get there after our friends crappy directions finally paid off.
As I approached Tesco's, it was beautiful, I didn't care it was like 10pm at night, I was in heaven. Now let me tell you, I have never been to a Tesco Extra, but let tell you, the Extra in "Tesco Extra" is the shortened version of "Extra Special" ngl. FIrst point has to be the space. I ain't even gonna lie, this Tesco was like a mansion. SO MUCH SPACE. SO MUCH ROOM. Second point has to be the extra products in the store. Stuff like bulk buys and other exclusive products I have never seen. I truly felt blessed. They even had like two pick and mix stalls. Bro, never mind best Tescos, this was the best supermarket I have ever been to. Unfortuntaley as it was close to closing time, I was forced to leave, emotionally wounded from the harsh emotional breakup between me and Tesco's. As I chugged my blue gatorade while walking towards my car, I shed a tear, as I forced to take everyone back home.
As I drove back home, I just wondered one thing...... They was no tuna crunch at that Tescos. Therefore I give the biggest Tesco in the UK a -2 out of 10. Absolute shit Tesco. My only purpose to go Tescos is to steal all their tuna crunch sandwiches. Without my purpose, the Tesco experience was utterly worthless. Never again! P.s. subscribe to the mailing list below!
17th January, my birthday. I don't really celebrate my birthday at all (because its a pagan practice), but today is a special day. Not because it is my birthday, It is because after over a year, I will finally come out with the truth on why I stop streaming between July 2022 and Jan 2023.
Y'all forced me to write this. On the 22nd of March 2023, whilst playing crowd control sonic mania, I accidently leaked that I am the three time 2008/2009/2010 ghanian videogame world champion, when seb started disrespecting my ability in videogames.
Well., hello there laddies! Welcome back to part two of my investing journey. It's been a while laddies. Lots have happened since the last update. Old me was just an investing noob who wrote that last article. Now, I am an investing prodigy, a connoisseur of sorts.
Yes boss, you heard that right. On Monday the 7th of November 2022, I was kicked out of my own server. I knew it would happen mere weeks before, and I may have pushed for the ban, but it was inevitable.
Before I get to my personal review of the largest Tesco in the united kingdom, let me first explain how it all started. How I magically ended up at the greatest location in the world.......
